“There is Room for You at the Table”
Happy Summer Everyone!
It sure has been a hectic one for me and I’m sure that goes for most of you as well! Projects galore, family plans, weddings, and it all gets jam-packed into those short months of beautiful summer weather. Jarrett and I finished renovating our apartment and officially posted it on AirBnB for its debut weekend, we enjoyed a friend’s wedding, had some down-time in Door County and I started learning how to master my DSLR camera, which had been sitting in my closet getting dusty for the last year.
Jarrett and I have accomplished a lot and we have been lucky enough to enjoy a little vacation time, yet I still find myself disappointed in my progress and wishing I could be further along with my plans instead of enjoying the present moment.
I look around at where others are in their careers or lives and I feel like I am on a treadmill sweating my ass off, but I’m not going anywhere. I keep my vision set on what I want and I continue to work toward it with intention, but it all just seems so far off and abstract.
It is said that comparison is the thief of joy and it has really felt that way over the last few weeks. I look to those who are actually doing what I want to be doing and making a living doing it and I feel bitterness, jealousy, sadness and at times like giving up. I feel I will never be as talented or as savvy, so why even bother? You know that moment when you are scrolling through someone’s posts or stories and you see that they are steps ahead of you? They are working on the projects you dream of and they don’t have to have a side hustle to support themselves! That is their hustle! Those experiences can become like road blocks to our development, but they can also be powerful motivation.
My best friend helped put it into perspective for me after I described how I was feeling to her over a cup of coffee recently, she said, “It’s hard to see now, but it’s just not the right time for that to happen for you, you have to keep working and striving towards that goal, you won’t know exactly how it will happen or exactly when it will happen, it could be next week or in three months, but it will happen!” Others’ successes have nothing to do with my own, in fact it will look totally different for everyone, there is room enough for everyone who has a dream and is willing to work for it.
Jarrett and I did a little exercise together the other night, something to help us understand and visualize where we want to be at this time next year, I found these questions helpful in identifying what I want to accomplish and then manifesting that desire.
*Where do you want to be? Like an actual place, where geographically would you like to be?
*What if anything do you want to change/improve about yourself by then? This can be physical, intellectual (for instance I want to learn more about photography), spiritual or emotional changes.
*What do you want to be doing on a daily basis? How about big picture? Basically what do you want a regular daily routine to look like for you and what are the big things you want to be working on as well.
*How do you want to feel? This may seem obvious: happy! But it is a little more nuanced than that...we all want to feel happy, but this makes you think about the steps that you would need to take to feel fulfilled, at ease and happy. Would you meditate more? Exercise more? Go to bed earlier? Drink less? Or maybe you want to have a child and you are scared or struggling with the process. This question can help identify our wants and the direct action that we can take to reach that feeling we are striving for.
I am still struggling with the feelings of insecurity and fear of failure and I have to combat those feelings daily while trying to keep moving ahead with my own plans, plans that hopefully will lead me over the course of this coming year to where I want to be. To make me a better, happier person and finally deliver me full-time to a career that I love. Keep asking questions and keep moving forward steadfastly towards your happiness.